We haven’t been sleeping very well over here as Shepherd has either night terrors, or a mean growth spurt going on.  He wakes three to four times a night and just jabbers away, shrieks, bats around.  We have to bolt up and tear in there because he and Ruby share a room — so her sleep hasn’t been too restful either.  One or two nights we have succombed to having her sleep in the guest room on another floor, but for the most part, a couple of pets on the back and some soothing tunes will help the little one back to sleep.

I was already up this morning and in the bathroom when Ruby came padding in in her footie pajamas, still half asleep.  She usually crawls in bed with Shaun and me, having awakened before everyone else.  She yawned and yammered, “Why are you up already this early?”  I said “Well, your brother was up a lot of the night and I just couldn’t get back to sleep.”

Complete with a scratch to her rear end, Archie Bunker style, Ruby cocked her hip, leaned into the cabinet, and sighed, “You’re tellin’ me.”

Pretenders, I Go To Sleep

1. The Urban Dictionary

2. motorboat

3. awkward turtle

4. locationship

5. Deep Purple, Hush

Battle against embitterment and take part in 365 days of Grace in Small Things.

1. 5ives (and 5ives, and 5ives, and 5ives)

2. Arrested Development (”Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?”)

3. David Sedaris

4. Amy Sedaris

5. Violent Femmes, Country Death Song

Battle against embitterment and take part in 365 days of Grace in Small Things.

1. The trees over the houses outside my office window, even in winter

2. Beyonce and I have the same shades!

3. Bill W.

4. Whoever figured out a goat could make cheese

5. Sigur Ros, svefn-g-englar

Battle against embitterment and take part in 365 days of Grace in Small Things.

1. Whether I like it or not, Starbucks Decaf Quad Venti Mochas.  Sigh.

2. Ilio reed fragrance diffusers in Amber Warmth

3. Great Wolf Resorts — just the thought of ‘em!

4. Paper Mate Flair pens in bold colors for my new 2009 planner

5. Meri Wilson, Telephone Man

Battle against embitterment and take part in 365 days of Grace in Small Things.

1. 2009 (Read: 2008? See you sucka!)

2. Back issues of Yellow Silk magazine as a gift to myself

3. Finding a Barnes and Noble gift card in a greeting card from Christmas 2007 that does not expire

4. Shepherd’s cheeks

5. Hothouse Flowers, Hallelujah Jordan

OK, I can’t stand letting the song thing go each day — so my fifth small thing will be an artist and title that I just don’t do without. Listen up!

Battle against embitterment and take part in 365 days of Grace in Small Things.

Something to be thankful for (two things, three!), yes?

One of my favorite bloggers has issued a challenge to all of us to be thankful, out loud, each day — specifically for five things.  I have yet to be diligent about blogging (at least not in a long time), but I do keep gratitude lists as part of my recovery and I do find it to be immensely helpful throughout the day to review and add to them to change a mood, alter a moment.

I’m going to try and do this.  For 365 days.  Oy!

I am sticking with my “schtick” of using song lyrics for my regular posts, but the Grace in Small Things posts will be labeled like Schmutzie labels them, titled “Grace in Small Things,” and showing what number of 365 we are on.  Should be easy as I am starting this January 1.  Schmutzie already challenged herself much moreso by starting at some completely random point.  I can only keep so many things in my head at one time lest things ooze out my nose.

Who’s with me?

Poi Dog Pondering, Postcard from a Dream

I know, I know!  I’ve missed you too.

I am doing well.  Taking it slow.  Glad 2008 is behind me.

A lot of you got the photo below, but in case you didn’t — please accept our smiles and an ardent wish for a serene and hopeful new year.  Much love from us to you, and more from me soon!

Bachman Turner Overdrive, You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet

A quick hello and a thank you to the universe for Shaun’s 37 years (today!) on this earth.

I can’t say enough about this man. His kindness, his humor, his endless patience with me. He’s a beaut.

Happy Birthday, HT. I love you.

Joni Mitchell, A Case of You

My modus operandi is usually not to post when things are difficult, or when I wake up and put on my “asshole” shirt instead of another wardrobe choice. But. I am learning that it’s my choice to put on that shirt, and my choice to pick another one…on another day.

So, I had that shirt on the other day and picked up a drink. A big tall one. I was by myself (first mistake). I didn’t call my sponsor (until after I swallowed, second mistake). There are mistakes that happened days before the actual drink, too, I am learning that as well.

This morning I’ve changed my shirt. Again. And I am much happier with this choice — the asshole shirt is one that hurts. It hurts all of us.

I have also been fielding phone calls and texts and emails from the other fallen ones from treatment — those who slid, slipped, jumped off the wagon. We are an ornery and stubborn lot. I am praying for all of us — in the psych wards and jail cells and living rooms full of memories. If any of you make it here and are struggling, please keep up the fight. You are not an asshole. Just make better choices today.

The world needs you.

Augustana, Sweet and Low